Step out of my comfort zone

i was at starbucks and there was a beautiful girl sitting across from me. we smiled.
when she took a break i snuck to sit next to my friend and, leaving my shell, placed my phone number on her backpack. when she returned i went to my car to grab something because i was ashamed. when i returned she was gone. i felt like a fool.
i got a call five minutes later.

“hello?... hello?”
“ello?”
“hello?”
“ello?”
“hello? i think you have the wrong number.”
“oh.”
“who are you looking for?”
“i.. found.. thees nomber.. on my back-pack.”
“haha.. yeah that was me.”
“what ees your nem?”
“i’m tom. haha”
“why.. deed you leef.. your nomber.. on my back-pack?”
“haha i don’t know. forget about it. haha”
“what?”
“its nothing, just forget about it. haha”
“o-k.”
“ok”
“bye”
“bye”

so basically i feel like an idiot, for a number of ways.
1. i gave some random girl my number.
2. she actually called
3. she had an accent and i judged her by it
4. she could have been faking the accent
5. my friend thinks she was faking it because she heard her talk earlier
6. i didn’t tell her why i called her
7. even if she didn’t have an accent i probably would have done the same because im afraid of women
8. i was laughing and she probably thought i was laughing at her accent, whether it was real or not
9. it was a private number so i can’t call back
10. i have an urge to look at the next cell phone bill and call her

i had to leave because i kept hitting myself on the head for being an idiot. but God doesn’t want me to dwell on it because he played Casimir Pulaski Day on the radio.
i need to study. oh pooh.

i’m talking to a girl. and i don’t usually get this opportunity. this is somewhat gripping.

This Saturday I went with my friend Kathy to a show that her friends’ band was playing on the corner of a street in midtown. they were sone with their set but still improv-ing and doing whatever cos they were all friends there. there was a table in the middle with drums built into it, and drumsticks so anyone could play along or do whatever. i did, but i felt awkward because i didn’t know anyone, while everyone else knew each other. it was only slightly liberating.

my friends know me as always being in my own little shell. sometimes i take pride in that, but other times i hide in my corner. i rarely do things that push my limits, and that disappoints me. sometimes i’m incredibly shy and other times i’m crazy talkative. i never take dares and i never gamble with anything. and i guess that’s usually good.

i’m generally afraid of women who take interest in me. i almost never flirt because i’m afraid of looking like a fool. when i say i want to meet someone who i see at school or wherever, i rarely do. i need to take chances and do things that i’m afraid to.