Fall in love.

Hi, at least until I move. I am not going to look, try, or even think about being in any type or relationship, only friendship. Well, I have not been in one in five years so no big deal right.

Hi, okay, maybe I am just reading into this to much, but, there is a woman I know, from work, who I kind of like. And I think she might like me. So, I just want to know if she does or not.

1: My job sends me all over town, so for a few days I was at one place where the woman was, but then I got shipped off to another store. But, she end up going to the same store. And we got to talking, and she did not want to stop talking (and neither did I), I know that is a good sign, but it might mean she could just think of me as a friend. But then she asked if I was going back to her store, and I told her I might soon but that I did not know. And she said “Well I hope to see you.”

I know I know, I sound like a dork, but hey she is beautiful, and funny, and smart. The only problem is I don’t think she thinks of me like that, and also if I where to go out with her I might lose my job… which that would suck. So, my question am I reading to much into this, or am I thinking clearly?

Hi, My friend, my best friend, I missed her Text earlier in the evening. I just now got it at 1 am. When she sent it a few hours ago, and my stupid phone did not want to tell me!!! (I hate my phone). So she was lonely three hours ago, and I could do nothing for her because I did not know!!! And I feel like shit, because one she is my friend and that was a sucky thing of me to do. Two, I thought I only saw her as a friend now. This feeling, I can tell it is more than, damn I missed my friends text, its more like damn I missed HER text!!! Why do I still feel this way? I thought that I was only thinking about her as a friend….. Damn it. And then I feel guilty for thinking that!!! She is my friend, she was lonely and I was not there for her. But instead of just being woried about that I also worry about the feelings I have for her (and I feel selfish, I am selfish, I suck). I need some sleep, sorry everyone, talk to you later on Sunday.

Hi, well I saw my friend today gave her her gift and helped her buy fish. And as I was leaving her, I did not feel as sad as I normaly would. I think I am over her. Finally. So, now I only see her as a friend. Which is good because we could never be anything more. So, I am not as sad anymore.

Hi, so I ask my best friend (who knows that I am in love with her) to go Christmas shopping with me Saturday. And she has not told me anything yet; and I keep checking my email like every few seconds trying to see if by any chance she has sent me a reply of any kind. And thus far, nothing, which makes me kind of sad. But what makes me feel pathetic is that I keep checking instead of excepting the truth which is she blew me off for her boyfriend. Which that is more than likly the truth. Which to be honest I don’t mind, I just wish I could have gotten an answer instead of I might be able to, or I might not, you know.

Why do I care? I mean honestly she is not my girlfriend and she told me she cant think of me that way, and yet for some stupid reason I cling to her like this. I feel so pathetic right now. I just need to go out and find a new girl, so that way I don’t feel so bad when I get blown off by her. Of cource this is easier said than done. I am not that good looking so, most women wont give me the time of day. And because of that they don’t get to know who I am, which kind of sucks because I would like to get to know some of the people around me in this world of ours. But, no such luck.

Hi, well, I told her, and she does not feel the same way, and cannot feel the same way. But we are still friends which is great. And I am happy that I was able to tell her, and I am happy just to be her friend.

Well, as I have said before that is my M.O. falling for the women that cannot fall for me. But no big deal, I still have a wonderful friend.

Hi, I might be meeting her in a few hours. My hands are shaking, and it is getting harder to breathe. I have waited so long for this, and yet now I am scared it might happen.

Hi, that is when I find out weather I am meant to be with her or not, because tomorrow she might be out of my life forever, or in it forever. Tomorrow I tell her. I tell her everything, about how much I love her and everything. Here goes nothing.

Hi, every time I saw the grass, the trees, the sky today I thought of her, and I smiled. I think my co-worker thinks I am nuts, but I could not help it. It’s funny, my co-workers keep pointing out women that they think are “hot” and to me, the fail to compare, no offence ment but I am in love. Now, if only she thought the same about me. Maybe she does, I don’t think so, but one can hope, right? I don’t really care because today I smiled.

Hi, when I was on vacation I got her another gift. I knew I did not have to, but I also knew it would give me another chance to see her. God, I am pathetic, a sad little man who is pouring out his heart into a fucking computer because he is to scared and to just unwilling to get hurt again. For all I know of love and how to help others with there problems I am an complet and whole hearted moron when it comes to fixing my own. Sometimes I wish I could no longer feel love like I used to. No longer have a heart that beats for another. But, I don’t know if I can go back, I don’t even want to try. Here is the gift that I receved, love, the gift and the curse.