identify positive reinforcements to overcome areas where I lack confidence

I think this sounds small, but it’s really a big deal. It comes don’t to be a huge limiting factor in some of my conversation and social and even physical skills. But not only does it limit personal development, but just opening up to that possibility can really draw others to you. It lowers some barrier that people have with relating to you. Like last week, I was trying so hard to get out of the pool that I just gave up and ended up looking like a seal. It was hilarious to watch, I am sure, but then my fellow students were suddenly so much more open to me. I think it’s back to that idea of the guy who wore his nametag around and suddenly people responded to him. I really don’t want to look silly, but when I avoid it I just look uppity or strictly business. The moral here is if I can stop avoiding those situations that make me look silly some good will come of it!

I hate that fear of rejection!!! I just need to get out there and ask, and build up my proof against the rejections. Even asking coworkers that I don’t know so well to lunch is a struggle—if I can just keep doing that, this will improve.

I’m so easily swayed..salespeople, friends, politicians. If I can just make decisions, every week or so, that I will get opposition on, but won’t allow myself to be swayed on, that’s a step forward. Like turning down offers to go to lunch. Or deciding not to watch TV and sticking with it. Not just willpower, but not succumbing to peer pressure.

please don’t make me! yet here I am, begging for mediocrity by avoiding them. But finding risks that could only result positively is almost contradictory. I guess starting small will lessen the sting of negative results. AGain, this could be as simple as striking up conversations with strangers.

again journalling. When those personal introductions come up, I always appear to myself (and I’m sure to others) as dry and boring. If I can just keep a running tab about how great I am in my journal, all my accomplishments, desires, etc., then I can express those clearly when the situation calls for it. I think in the past my journalling has been very negative, and only coming out when particular problems arise. I need to focus on different areas, which can be reinforcement instead.

it’s like i don’t have any! I think journalling could really help me to focus on the opinions I do have, and making them about issues I don’t have.

particularly in deciding what to do w/ my free time w/ my boyfriend. Usually I let him pick (while making it look like I’m making input) or we take the course of apathy. Easy answer here, just focus on choosing one thing each week/weekend that would be a fun. Er duh.

I think my 100 conversations goal will really take care of this. Just need to refocus on this.

I will do just about anything to avoid this situation. Trying to think of a way I can do this positively is difficult though. Maybe prank calling people. And going out of my way to do this just seems cruel! Probably the trick to this one is finding a situation where it’s really deserved ….hmmm….

there are just an overwhelming number of things wrong. There’s so much room for self improvement!! But really most of it comes down to confidence. Today we were discussing the idea that negative situations after certain behaviors determine future behavior. So I want to come up with positive situations that can replace those negative associations and encourage the behavior I would like to have. Probably a lot of my self-defacing behaviors occurred when I was young and have created the timid mess I am today. I’ll just brainstorm here…and probably result in a whole nother set of 43 things!