i care in the sense that it’s important for me to be successful and be able to be competitive/marketable for my job/career. i don’t think i care what people think of the way i dress or how i look or any of that stuff. i care if people like me, but only because i enjoy having close friends and solid relationships. i really only care about being happy with myself, which is why this goal “wasn’t worth it” because i’m not at that “f* it all, i don’t care what you think ‘cause i’m awesome” state that i figured i would get to once this goal was completed. gotta keep working on that part, i guess.
Oct 26, 2007, 07:23AM PDT | 0 comments
it just dawned on me that i’ve been thinking about my life and my success in terms of what my parents think it means to be successful. i don’t necessarily disagree with all of it, but i’m so tired of trying to live up to some arbitrary standard set by whomever: the media, society, the shopping mall, my family, etc. i need to define what is successful on my terms and surround myself with people who are cool with my decision, no matter what their definition is.
Aug 08, 2006, 11:30AM PDT | 2 cheers | 0 comments
being totally, completely, and comfortably myself and not being off-putting or otherwise coming off the wrong way to people. i wonder if people have a hard time relating to me and my sense of humor. then again, maybe i’m just thinking about the whole thing too much, too.
May 30, 2006, 06:54AM PDT | 10 cheers | 14 comments
but i have to stop letting what other people think dictate my mood and what i do. i know that i know what’s best for me, and no one else. sure, good friends and the like have insight into me and who i am, what i would enjoy and be good at, but at the end of the day, it comes down to me. so why should i let what anyone else does affect how i feel about myself, other than to spur me onto to do more and better things? is it because i’m so unhappy and so lost deep down that i don’t even know where to begin?
May 09, 2006, 06:58AM PDT | 10 cheers | 2 comments
or something. the number goes up and down, up and down, and i really shouldn’t care. everyone has their reasons for doing what they do, but this is freaking me out for some reason. i’m probably just too preoccupied and stressed about work that i’m adding fuel to the fire by worrying about unrelated things. typical.
May 03, 2006, 05:18AM PDT | 1 cheer | 6 comments
i’m smart, funny, cute…i have lots of good things going for me. nevertheless, i’m lonely at work, but i feel like a total dork just walking up to people and talking to them. “uh, yeah, hi, i’m a loser, will you be my friend?” sheeeeesh.
Apr 21, 2006, 07:48AM PDT | 5 cheers | 8 comments
