honoring rob
9 months ago
In honor of my brother and in recognition of World PD (Parkinson’s Disease) Day, I have changed my avatar to the Dr. James Parkinson tulip.
“On 11 April 2005, the Red Tulip was launched as the Worldwide Symbol of Parkinson’s Disease at the 9th Conference in Luxembourg.
The story of the Parkinson tulip began in 1980 in the Netherlands when J.W.S. Van der Wereld, a Dutch horticulturalist who had PD, gave the name “Dr. James Parkinson” to the red and white tulip he had developed.
In 1981 he registered his prize cultivar, the ‘Dr James Parkinson’ bulb. The name was chosen to honor Dr. James Parkinson, the English doctor who described the condition in his 1817 “Essay On The Shaking Palsy” and to honour the International Year of the Disabled.”
I think I will also make it a point to plant as many tulips as I can so as to always be remembered of my brother. Our birthdays are in April and tulips also happen to be my favorite flower, so I think it’s a win-win-win.
Apr 02, 07:20AM PDT | 4 cheers | 0 comments
it’s not even necessarily the fact that it’s the holidays, i just get to thinking about rob and i get sad.
i really just wish i could get to a good place about things. i’m still so preoccupied (either that, or deliberately distracting myself) with all the other crap in my life that i don’t know how to give this matter the attention it deserves.
that sounded so clinical. sheesh.
Dec 21, 2007, 07:17PM PST | 2 cheers | 1 comment
i think i need to get therapy about this one, too.
Nov 01, 2007, 11:43AM PDT | 2 cheers | 0 comments
the forgetting part. i’m not any further along with this goal, in fact, i think i’m regressing, as i have started to let days go by without thinking about rob and now i’m going crazy. i feel like i’m forgetting him, i feel like i’m forgetting the fact that i had a brother at all. i don’t feel like i have any connection to him now, wherever he may be, and i’m still just as sad and lost and empty as i have been since he first left us.
i really don’t know what to do.
my minister suggested i try talking to him (and i know curlgirl has, too) so i probably ought to make some time and do that. i just have a fear that if i reach out and look for him, that he won’t be there. he hasn’t given me a sign yet, who’s to say he would give me one now?
Jun 07, 2007, 12:36PM PDT | 3 cheers | 2 comments
and since he wasn’t recovered until after the memorial my parents had for him, and there was no funeral, i feel like i missed my opportunity to pay my last respects, even though at the time i felt it was too early, premature, since he was still missing. i went to maine to visit my sister-in-law over a year ago, but i felt that trip was for her, so she could do and say what she needed to, and not so much for me. unfortunately, now i find myself in a position where i have never said goodbye, and i think about him every day (which is not necessarily a bad thing), and i miss him a lot, even though we weren’t as close as i would have liked, and i really just don’t know what to do about it. i’ve just been keeping on keeping on, but i think it was way too early to start doing that and now i just feel sort of incomplete inside. i’m afraid there will come a time when i don’t think about him every day, and that scares me. i don’t want to forget about him.
Jan 10, 2007, 12:50PM PST | 11 cheers | 3 comments
