learn to let go

It had just occured to me that Emperor Joseph II in Amadeus is about the same height and looks like Mr Funny (an ex).. except the eye colour. Now this is the amusing part..

but I am letting things go really easily these days, probably because I hardly ever get completely overwhelmed by my emotions.

I wouldn’t want to consider this goal complete as yet.Might see if I will be further tested in the New Year (I think the odds are pretty good)

..but this is just beautifully succinct

appearing as if treating the matters of the heart as a transaction I find this analogy rather appealing:

The difficulty with letting go is, in my mind, caused in part by the discrepancy between the perceived and the actualised emotional gain or loss. Once we sit down and thoroughly examine how accurate the perception of the gain/loss is with respect to the actualised gain/loss we are more likely to accept and adapt to the circumstances.

Now this is the sort of handbook that I wish I had access to back then..

I have been yoyoing – the boundaries that I set for myself keeps being tested. Sometimes I think I am holding on ok, sometimes I feel totally defeated. I think I need some distance from things and people that stops me from letting go..

My relationship with someone has been downgraded – probably for the better. Its much easier and a lot less stressful on both of us it seems, which is great!

find a new vice – what can I obsess about?

Practice PERTPERT stands for Positive Emotion Refocusing Technique. It’s a 45-second strategy Dr. Luskin developed to use whenever you start beating yourself up over past sins. Simply close your eyes, draw in a long breath that gently pushes out your belly, then slowly exhale as you relax your belly. Draw a second breath, and exhale.
On the third deep breath, says Dr. Luskin, create an image of someone you love or of a beautiful place in nature that fills you with awe: a beautiful beach, a path through a majestic redwood forest, a mountain stream tumbling over rocks. Breathe deeply as your mind explores the natural beauty around you. Notice how you feel, and allow those feelings to center on the area around your heart.
Now, ask this peaceful part of you what you can do to help yourself feel better. Then, when you’ve received an answer, open your eyes, and put it into action.

I’ve accepted that all relationships come and go, regardless of priority and variety. Once I get over that sense of loss the wheels of life roll on.