I’m tired of being there for people. I’m tired of being the patient listener and the shoulder to cry on, or the person to punch. I’m tired of listening to whining and drama and advice problems.
I’m tired because no one is able to or is willing to reciprocate. I’m tired because I take the burdens and the sorrow and the loneliness and I try to make them smile. I try to give them hope. I do my best to encourage. I do not always succeed, but most of the time, people tell me they feel better.
Great. Thanks. I’m glad you feel better. And what about me? Give me a mere 15 minutes, I beg of you, compared to the hours I sacrifice willingly. Give me true compassion and empathy for those mere moments I am truly desperate enough to bother you with my problems. Because if I’m at the stage where I do need to talk, it’s bad indeed.
Tell me your angry? I’ll buoy you (or at least attempt to diffuse it with humor). Tell me you’re sad and I’ll list good things about you and the situation. Tell me you’re happy and we’ll celebrate together.
When I visibly show I’m upset (seeing as how I’m good at not expressing how I really feel, especially online), please at least CARE for a whole 10 seconds. Wait, 10 seconds out of your life for someone else? Le Gasp. Is that even POSSIBLE? No, that’s unthinkable. Sorry to even try. Sorry to INTERRUPT your precious angst-filled life because clearly, I’m not worthy of your time, but I’m worthy when you need ME. Stop leeching, thanks.
0 comments
The great news is that I totally went on a shopping spree a couple weekends ago at New York & Company with one of my closest friends and her sister. I went with a mission to buy pants and I ended up with pants, tops, a camisole, a handbag, a wallet, and sunglasses! Crazy! I love my new clothes, except I can’t wear the pants without having heels on. I need to go buy heels now. The problem is I can’t wear heels without developing major pain or blisters for very long (and I have long school days)....so I have no idea what I will do.
So some not so good things about my half-hearted attempts to dress better and dress more stylishly…I think some of my friends see me as trying too hard. I’m not sure, really. I AM trying hard. In my new environment, everyone is dressed to the nines nearly all the time (as compared to at home, where everyone I know wears uber-casual and loves it). I’m not comfortable dressing up that much but I’d like to at least put on a professional front. I’ve gotten some comments about how I spend so much money (and am willing to – even though it’s not me really wanting to – it’s a necessity now) as compared to me not wanting to spend money on other things that are frivolous. It’s kind of like this constant reminder of who I used to be and what I used to think and how I’ve changed. It’s difficult, but it’s got to happen. As Dorothy said to Toto, “We’re not in Kansas anymore.”
0 comments
I got the chance to buy a lot of new juices to stock up on! Also got a box of Go-gurt (love that stuff, I can’t help it) so yay for portable breakfast as well! :D
I’m planning to make a curry this week, although I don’t have much rice left to go with it. I am trying so much harder to cook more and eat out less. I definitely need to pick up slack on fiber and protein, though. I’ve been taking in carbs like a maniac.
Unfortunately, I have not broken my ice cream habit yet. I don’t think I want to.
Watching the Olympics are so inspiring. I really want to get back into running and the wonderful endorphins. The adrenaline is great even though I feel like utter crap at first :p. Hopefully I will be able to work this into my schedule real soon.
3 cheers | 2 comments
I'm doing 43 things
