Neallyboy68

Another hard day. My mind is trying hard to talk me into smoking again. A last ditch attempt from the nicotine beast? I always have had a mild self-destructive streak in me but I don’t want to let this addiction get me. I’ve just been at the hospital and saw all those people smoking at the door. I tried to despise what they were doing but it took all the motivation I have just to keep from begging someone for a cigarette.

Today I will not smoke.

Today has been a very difficult day and I’ve no idea why. I went to a bar for a coffee earlier between jobs knowing that people would be smoking in there. I got that way that I couldn’t think straight and I had my coffee and left. I didn’t really go in there for a coffee – I went in toying with the idea of smoking.

Today has felt like one of the first days off the cigarettes. As I say, I don’t know why this happened. I’m just glad that I’m through it and hope that tomorrow won’t be that way again. Crazy how nicotine can jump up and bite your bum when you’re not watching.

Today I haven’t smoked and tomorrow I sure as hell ain’t gonna either.

Another day and no patch. That makes 22 days with no patch. I have good days and bad days. Today is a bad day. I feel I have lots of pent up anger and would love to be able to let it out. I know smoking a cigarette wouldn’t help but why do I want one then?

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!