barren

Wow, Carling, I was just logging in to check my email, and yes, I was planning on swinging in here to brag a bit, and well holy shit.

Tell you what, I don’t get surprised much, but you pulled it off you awesome motherfucker, you.

I’m honored. I’m misty! I’m fucking pumped! I’m emailing you in gorey detail after I post here!

THANK YOU CARLING and ALL of the awesome folks at 43T that were right by my side for the entire ONE FUCKING YEAR SOBER THAT I COMPLETED TODAY.

FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!FUCK YEAH!

Long time no enter. 10 months for me yesterday. It doesn’t take effort any more. Stick with it. I know we all say “it gets better”, but that’s only because it’s true: it REALLY DOES GET BETTER.

I got pretty pissed off here a few weeks back when somebody called me an enabler (as I co-own a liquor store), but I’ve done some thinking and I guess in some part by profiting from the weakness of my customers I am at least not doing anything to help anybody, if not out-and-out hurting them myself. The bottle shop is up for sale, and I’ll be getting out when I can.

Over the past 2 years I watched a woman with two respectable jobs in our community lose them both, get her utilities turned off one by one, and most recently lose her house. The whole time she’d be in our shop every day playing “credit card lotto” to find one she could charge something on. She lost her car and her fucking house, people!! DO NOT BE THIS PERSON!! In the end, it turns out she was into smoking crack as well, but she boozed it up right until she got deported. That’s how it ended here for her. Lost home and deportation. FUCK ALCOHOL.

Peace everybody. Friday holds NO Power over you.

~barren

I tell Bottle Shop stories for exactly the reason 30something thinks I do..to express what any of us could easily become, what I very,very nearly became, if we stay on the road alcohol leads us down.

Know what John? I am better than that person I ripped up on in my last post, because I have made better choices. I’m better than she is..for now. Could that ever change? You bet; she could get better, and I could certainly get worse(I don’t kid myself on that little score), but for now, I want to warn everyone here off of becoming a down and out loser like the person I described, or any of the people I’ve described in my Bottle Shop posts.

More, I think you’re completely wrong about the two sides of alcoholism. It is cowardly to try and put blame on the provider. Cowardly. I can tell everyone here straight up that when I wanted to get drunk, I fucking damn well got drunk and it didn’t matter who sold it to me or where I got it. I won’t try to push off my terrible weakness on someone else—that’s a sorry excuse; nobody caused my problems with alcohol but ME, pal.

The supplier? Are you serious? Who here didn’t play Liquor Store Hopscotch, buying from one store one day, another the next, so the clerks wouldn’t think you were hitting it as much as you were? Suppliers are not the problem, friend. Problem drinkers are the problem. I was my problem. You were your problem. Nobody else.

By the way, there’s another liquor store, mm, ‘bout 2 blocks from mine in one direction, and 3 in another direction. If I took a moral stand and told the souse not to drink (or smoke)do you think she’d hang head, lesson learned and shuffle on home, purged of her demons? The problem lies not with supply, but with demand.

It probably seems pretty bizarre that I’m part owner of a liquor store at all to most people here, but we’ve all got our situations; this is mine, and my reasons are my own. I’ll continue to post Bottle Shop Stories (and thanks for the screamingly funny Chapter Suggestions, friends!), and anyone who doesn’t like ‘em shouldn’t fuckin’ read ‘em.