itsfar2hard

I am perfectly happy with who I am and my situation in life but when the thought crosses my head that I’m living a lie and keeping all theese secrets bottled up inside it hits me like a thousand bricks. I love the fact that I can hang out and spend the night with my girlfriends and my parents actually let me go away with them (even if thats just because they think that we’re just good friends)but I hate the fact that I am not quite comfortable telling them about everything in my life.I hate the fact that when I found an old pic from when me and my ex were together and I couldnt stop crying for 2 and a half days I couldnt even tell my mom what was the matter with me. I hate that even though my best friend since kindergarden acts like she’s fine with it I can tell that she isnt. and I hate that Im in love with a great friend of mine (who’s bi) but she is out of my leauge and even if she was in my leauge she’s seeing a good guy friend of both of ours. I love that I have good friends that love me but I hate everything else.

well Im working a little bit on 2 books – Diary Of An Angsting Teenager (I know lame title) and a poetry one Waves of Wind. Dairy is like my real story’s blended with fiction, I had to start it becsuse of therapy but im actually enjoying it so I want to publish it :)

All my friends make me super happy and relaxed. they dont care if I make a fool of myself they just love me for me.