jamrockgirl

I think this is a really great idea and I intend to do this!

Throughout the years, fridays have never been my favorite day. I had nothing against it but it was always Wednesdays or Thursdays. This semester however, fridays have been my favorite days. The hectic week has ended and it heralds in the weekend! It’s friday again and Im treating myself to chipotle! A lovely hearty chicken burrito! It’s one of my favorite things as well.

Ever since I was a little girl I always had a best friend. I relished the idea of having a friend who was like my sister and more! Someone who totally understood me and who enjoyed my company and vice versa. Someone with whom I could be myself and she likewise. Someone who would go to the ends of the earth for me and back! I’ve been through a series of best friends but they all ended sourly or poorly. I’ve given up on establishing ‘besties’ relationships with girls cause I’ve found them to be so petty. I’ve never had a friend who wasn’t secretly jealous of me that really hurt. The best best friend relationship that I’ve ever had was with a girl called Rosey. She was a beautiful person inside and out but she too had her flaws….....but her heart was pure. When she moved away to Gerogia the relationship didnt die but it’s high and dry now and I know she no longer considers me her best friend. That’s ok though.
Since college I’ve formed several friendships but nothing too close. Sometimes I yearn to have the best friend but I have my sister. Even though she’s two years younger we are best friends in a sense. Even though we dont always get along and we dont always hang…but she is the closest thing I have to a best friend. Oh and there’s my Mom as well…we’re real close and when I go home for breaks we always go out together, we’re like peas in a pod she and I. However, I wouldnt mind someone outside of my family circle that is my best friend!

Well, here I am roughing it through undergrad and Im this close to completing my four year biology degree. My university has an accelerated BS/MD program which allows you to transition into their medical school after just two-three years of undergrad! I tried getting into this program but since I transferred, I was advised to retake all my core sciences courses(Bio 101/102, Gen Chem and Ochem). I didnt want to do that cause that would set me back a whole year! Yet when I think about it, being in that accelerated program is the way to go!
As divine intervention would have it, a friend of mine who happens to be in the program and will be going to med school next summer told me again about the accelerated program and urged me to try and get in no matter the cost. It was as if a ray of hope had flickered in on my mind and it actually seemed quite tangible! Of course, I’d have to retake all those classes! However, wouldnt it be worth it, rather than doing all the extra curricular activities and research and competing with thousands of applicants for a spot at med school when I can just complete this accelerated program and be guaranteed a spot in me alama mater’s med school?! Im gonna give it a shot!

The more I think about it…I wonder why I even started this goal in the first place. It’s not as if Im really shy. I just get shy in certain situations…...does that make me a shy person? Even the most famous people who are constantly in the spotlight get shy! Anywho, I’ve been working on being less shy and it has paid off…I just block out all my insecurities…..”fake it till you make it”they say.

Ever heard the saying, “sticking out like a sore thumb”? Well, I want to be that ‘sore thumb’. Not in a pain-in-the-negative way but a positive, can’t-get-enough-of-this-girl way. Back in highschool I was totally quiet so even though I was a great person, not many people knew that because of my reserved nature. Now I’m in college, and history is about to repeat itself if I don’t do something….fast! I’ve tried making a brilliant first impression when meeting new people but they don’t seem to remember me and the friends I’ve made don’t make an effort to call me up as they used to. What’s happening? What’s missing?

I’ve decided that I want to go to Egypt! It’s so beautiful and it would be great to walk the ground that the fathers of civilization once walked. To see the pyramids, the mummies and castles! Dont know when the trip will be but I want to go one day! So far, I’ve learnt thtat Egypt is in North Africa and lies between the Gaza strip and Libya.

As a science student, one who is quite keen on the ills of meat-related diseases…it’s kinda ironic that I still eat meat. Im aware of how animals are raised nowadays, the mess of hormones their fed and slaughtering and all that. Yet, I find myself eating meat everyday….irregardless. My meat eating is on a minimum now though. I mostly eat chicken. Lately, when Im consuming chicken, I feel so guilty as I ingest big servings of chicken, something within me tells me this isnt right and not healthy. Admittedly, it’s not really the cruelty to animals that gets me but the fact that every time you consume meat, dead animal flesh, you are increasing your chances of developing cancer.
Being a vegetarian is the best way to go for your health…...and the animals!

It’s not that Im completely lacking in confidence. That’s certainly not the case. I have no issues with making a presentation in front of a crowd. Yet walking into a room full of a hundred people unnerves me. Right now my housemate has some friends over, their downstairs practicing for some singing group thing and I cant seem to muster up the courage to go down and say hi…even though I want to sooooo badly. At school I’d want to be more active in activities, but without the moral support of my friends Im pretty much not going to budge. Even though, I did join two clubs pretty much on mine own. Strange confidence huh? Or is it conditional confidence? Whatever it is I want to be completely confident. Im getting there….I can feel it.

That’s what his personal message said one night while we were chatting on msn. “I think I luv her “really””. This blew me away….literally. Wasnt sure how to respond to it so I ignored and kept chatting even though I knew it was me he was referring to. He’s also said that being without me makes him feel so empty and that I’ve given him joy he’s never experienced. Maybe just maybe I’ll be his everything real soon!

I was in Jamaica for my summer vaction and it was sheer bliss.From the sandy,sky blue beaches, the scenic landscape, the exotic food and warm people, was enough to make me want to stay forever…paradise I tell you! I took pics like crazy and just towards the end of the summer, my camera stopped working. Perhaps it had done its due….I had it from 2005. That however meant no more pictures for me:( Getting one again is on my top list of things to get right now. I want to purchase a good brand Im stuck between Cannon and Olympus.
Having a camera handy is so vital right now. I want to capture every moment, since Im in college it’s only right that every fun, sad, crazy moment be captured on camera. Cant let the precious memories slip by!

My sights on going to med school are beginning to get blurry. Doubt is setting in and this lifelong goal is suddenly seeming unattainable there are are so many obstacles rearing their ugly heads in my path. I need some encouragement!

So, we’ve broken up and it isnt that bad. A mutual understanding is what we came to. I thought I feel feelings of anguish and remorse but I actually feel light! Like a heavy ball and chain has been lifted off my ankle. Im single again and it feels so good and…...right!
Just when I thought I’d spend some time focusing on ME, an unexpected visitor walks into my life and sweeps me off my feet…literally! We practically grew up together but never spoke. Our parents are best friends and we went to the same church and highschool but our paths never crossed. He was the jock, I was the um…goody two shoes, who got good grades was still cool with the cool kids. So he calls me up out the blue and says he has to see me. Puzzled and all I respond letting him know he can come by. He’s all smiles as he approaches me and I wonder what this is about. The essence of the short epistle he unravels is that he likes me. It’s summer and flings are a given. But this…what was about to happen was more than just a fling.
Funny thing is that I liked him back. Strange right. Yet as he said those words it was if something clicked! We spent all summer soaking up each other’s company. It was surreal! He kept saying that. Then came the thing I dreaded the most…the end of summer! Fortunately we’re still interested in getting to know more about each other. He seems real serious about this and I want to be as well. Here I go again back into another long distance relationship…am I falling too fast? This feels so right though. I’ve never felt this way about a guy….it’s crazy. In spite of it all, my goal to remain chaste until marriage is very clear.

After dating my borfriend of two years, I’ve realized that we were growing apart. I didnt feel the same about him and he was behaving differently. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder but I but my experience certainly proves otherwise….sigh. On second thought I thought that I was tempted to stick it out and try to patch things up. But I feel absolutely nothing for this guy anymore. So I ended it. He’s a great guy nonetheless so I hope he makes some other girl happy. I gotta be true to myself and him.

Its not that I am on a constant quest for the approval of others but its my indecisiveness that puts me in that spot…makes me dependent on others for their input on what I should buy, and all of that. The other reason is that Im scared thay my decisions may have negative repercussions and if somebody made the decision for me then if anything went wrong they’d be to blame!

Ususally, I refrain from speaking to certain people based on mannerisms and their percieved behaviour towards me…the look on their face etc….kinda judgemental right? But sometimes ppl behave in such a way that makes them downright unapproachable. No one wants a bruised ego right? Yet, I’ve broken through those barriers lately, and have kept up intriguing convos with person who have a refreshing perspective on life, which has shown me another side to this play called

The cat’s out of the bag…Im a heavy/dead sleeper. You could run a chain saw over my head and I wouldnt even squint. Yet, I’ve been making an effort to go to bed earlier and I’ve been waking up earlier…...not to the sound of many alarms(phone,clock etc) but something else…...

I did it! I mean GOD DID IT! With a heavy-ish work load of 18 credits this semester…...the grades are in and I got allll AAAAAAAAAAAsss!!!! Thank you Lord!! Hard work plus God equals success!!

Meat-eating beyond a shadow of doubt is directly related to cancer. That is one of the main reasons why Im considering this goal. I know deep down inside that I need to cut meat eating out of my life, so I’ve been eating chicken mostly. But the chickens nowadays are so full of chemicals and other harmful substances that it isnt even healthy to consume their flesh. However, it’s hard. I just have to take the things one step at a time

I’ve always wanted to be that girl. That girl who looked ‘together’ no matter what day you caught her. Her hair right, outfit all together and looking cute. That’s just not me though…I’ve come to realise I have my days when Im just not ‘fashionable’ in the world’s eye. I’d like to be that girl though. Is that so impossible? There’s only one problem though, I dont have my style…what is my style? Yet to find it!