Jamie A.K.A. Poetry Boy on 43 Things

How I wish I had good news to report from my MRI on Tuesday, but I don’t. Even though I had my MRI scheduled for the open machine, I wasn’t able to have it.

The machine was very different from what I was expecting, even with me having researched it and looked at pictures of it. It was like being put in two large dryers that were in front of one another. I had learned the measurements of the macine and measured them off and practiced being in it in off and on for three days, but not even that did any good. I told the tech about my history, and he suggested we do a couple of practice trips into the machine first. When he put me in the first time, it bothered me quite a bit, but because of how important these pictures are, I told him I was OK and he could move to the next step.

After that, he put a large cervical restraint on me that bolted my neck to the table, he put some leg straps on me that tied my legs to the table, and then he put this hard plastic mask on my face that covered my whole head, including my eyes, and bolted into the table. There were two slits for breathing, but not even the slightest eyehole, and it was about an inch from my face. It was like one of those death masks they put on mummies. That mask covering everything plus my whole head and neck and neck being bolted down to the table left me feeling trapped and suffocated. Anyway, I started to have a panic attack like last time as soon as he put all that on me, but somehow, I still agreed to go in the machine and see if I could stand it in the machine with all of that on me. I just couldnt. I couldn’teven really breathe in alll that stuff, and once he put me in the machine, it felt like I was being burried alive. He took me back out and I was having a lot of trouble breathing like last time.

He told me that the next option is to try it with full anesthesia, where they will knock me out completely and keep me out until its over. I don’t even want to think about going near an MRI machine again, but I agreed to it and they have scheduled it. It’s not until January 13. That was the soonest they could arrange everything. I really hate that it’s that far away. I need these pictures now. Plus, I keep dreaming about that machine. I want all this over with. I’m not as angry with myself or as ashamed of my fears as I was last time. This time I mostly feel profoundly disappointed. I really believed that I would be able to do it this time, even if it meant gritting my teeth or dealing with the panic and anxiety, but I was wrong. I tried my best and still didn’t make it.

Nov 07, 05:52PM PST | 6 cheers | 7 comments

Get over my fears and anxieties about going to the doctor and actually go get the medical treatment that I need. (read all 16 entries…)

New Appointment Dates 2 months ago

I finally have some appointments to get me to my final answers. Both of my MRIs are scheduled for the morning of November 4. It took some adventures as usual getting there. They told me at my last doctor appointment that it could take 2 weeks to get them scheduled becuase of insurance stuff, so I waited my two weeks. After that, when I still didin’t have an appointment, I went to the clinic to see why. Later that day, they called me on my cell phone, and while I know two things are true, I do not know what order they came in. I know that Brittany will no longer mess things up for me because she doesn’t work there anymore and that she lost all of my paperwork. I don’t know if she lost my paperwork and got fired or if she got fired for not telling me about my MRI appointment (and everything else) and since my paperwork would have been on her desk decided to shred it. It doesn’t realy matter, I guess. Anyway, it took two more days and a constant repeating that I wanted open MRIs, but I finally got them scheduled. So, early in the morning on Election Day, I will have both of my MRIs and finally get them over with. Then, no matter how sore I am, I am going to drive up to Columbus, so I can vote.

After we got the MRI stuff straightened out, I asked the new Brittany (I think her name is Peggy) about my follow up visit. SHe told me she had some other tests to schedule, but she would get to it as soon as she could. I should have known better. I should have insisted that she do it right then. My follow up didn’t get scheduled until this week. It was supposed to be for November 17, but now it is December 1. It seems so far away, even though comparatively to my start date it’s really close. I’m just hoping that on December 1 I finally get two things: a formal diagnosis and some pain medicine.

Oct 25, 09:06AM PDT | 8 cheers | 18 comments

Home:	Lexington, Kentucky
Member since:	May 06, 2007
Birthday:	Jul 31

Jamie A.K.A. Poetry Boy

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