believe in myself more

Thanks for cheering this goal. You know since I wrote this, I have been doing better with this. The blogging is definitely connected. I don’t think that I would show all of my thoughts if I didn’t believe in myself at least a little bit. I have also been doing these videos that show so much more of my personality. Before, I couldn’t imagine doing these creative videos and actually posting them for people to see. All I was thinking was that no one even cared. Sometimes I still have these moments where I don’t think anyone cares. I feel that no one reads these blogs and that I’m just sending them out there into “outer web space” like a message in a bottle. I guess it is all about getting it out. These days my outlet is a bit odd, but I like the videos. I’m definitely doing better with this goal!

I just need to start believing in myself more cause if i don’t nobody else will…

This one, along with some other one, annoys me.

I do believe that I am capable of doing all that I set out for myself, but I do not push myself to my farthest and most worthwhile potential. I underestimate myself, and don’t give myself enough credit where credit is deserved. In part this may be because I am very humble. I’m definitely going to work harder on believing in myself much more than what I do now. I think I can truly benefit from this if I am able to achieve my goal.

This is life. This is it. Don’t think of this day as a dress rehearsal for tomorrow. Today is it.

You are not a guest at a party. You are a host or hostess of the party. Each day when you wake up, think of this as your role throughout the day. You are not here to find someone who will make you feel welcome and comfortable. You are here to allow everyone around you feel welcome and comfortable. That is your job.

Do you believe this? I’ve found that thinking this way allows me to put “me” aside and think of those around me. When I think of those around me and believe in those around me, it makes others feel good and it makes me feel good.

Believing in yourself is not about your career, the car you drive, the house you live in, the relationship you’re in, etc. Those factors may change multiple times over the course of our lives. Believing in yourself is about purpose – finding purpose in the smallest details. The smallest detail that I can think of sometimes is the fact that I exist, side by side with a ginger ant, in the same moment.

Why am I here? To celebrate the day. To celebrate life. To be grateful for each moment and its minute detail. To conquer challenges with truth. I can’t help but take a more spiritual approach to this “thing” I’ve been working on. So I smile when I think of this Biblical passage:

“This is the day the Lord hath made; be glad, give thanks, rejoice.”

In days when I find it hard to believe in myself, I remember that it’s not about me. It’s not even about you. It’s about God and expressing Him. With a perfect creator, I realize there’s nothing to doubt. Why shouldn’t we believe fully in ourselves – and each other?

No matter what I strive for in this life, I seem to have more belief in myself when it comes to pursuing acting than anything else. I don’t see myself finding love, discovering my sexuality, resolving my religious beliefs, being solely financially independent or anything else. If I give up being an actor, I don’t know what else to believe in. You can tell a person what they should believe but it’s up to them to buy into it.

I finally got the job I’ve been aching for, and I was hoping that it will provide some closure on the way I feel about myself and my abilities. But it’s left me with nothing but a deflated heart.

I feel like cheap nasty labour, I don’t feel like there’s been any worth placed in my degree, I really feel like I might as well just not have bothered going to uni in the first place, to just skip getting the debt and had gone into a job to begin with.

I know I’m just starting my career-life and that beggers can’t be choosers, but I just can’t help feeling so devalued and my sense of worth is deminished.

I don’t think I can do this anymore. How much of a fool was I to believe that I could get anywhere near my dreams and aspirations? What a fool was I to believe I could make things change and find some sort of closure with myself and life.

How can I believe myself when no one can believe me? Is this really what all these is to life?

I don’t know why I bother sometimes, I really don’t

I have to admit, this has been a tough goal for me. After moving to Virginia after living my whole life in New England, it’s been difficult to get my bearings both personally and professionally. Before I moved I was holding down a challenging job as a neuropsychology research assistant and working on masters degrees (2 of them) from high-profile schools.
I guess those aspects of my life really contributed to myself-concept, because since losing them and moving away from my family (most of it—I moved to be with my husband) it’s been hard to remain positive. I’ve made some strides lately, getting teaching job and toying with the idea of a PhD program. hopefully this is a sign of better things to come.

I’ve considered the importance of having self-confidence. I’ve come to a near conclusion that I can live my life my way, see the negative sides of life, and understand the positive things in life all without outwardly expressing my so called lack of self-confidence. I think that it is more important to note that although you may lack self-confidence or not believe in your self, we all have a role in life, and its better to accept things and make the best of that, rather than trying to create something for someone, for any specific reason.

If I believed in myself more, I could accomplish more of my goals, be a better person, live life with more joy, see the challenge in everything instead of seeing the blessings and curses and I’d be happier with my life by accepting it as it is. I could disregard what people think about me, have more courage in daily events and interactions with people, know how to stand up for myself with confidence, speak up when I know I have the right to do so, fight back when I’m being wronged, correct those who’ve misspoke about me, conquer the defeatist in me, squash my apathy and have no regrets at the end of my life.