Be happy without being in love.

Contradictorary with my goals? because one of them is ‘be the kind of person I want to meet’ and then I have this one, which goes against meeting anyone. huh.

I just need to find something else to focus on. I don’t /want/ a boyfriend! (or a girlfriend, for that matter). But maybe it would be easier to be happy with someone there to make me happy…?

Okay. How sad and pathetic I’ve become. While waiting in line to vote, I bump into an old acquaintance. This acquaintance and I had a friendship but, I never saw it going anywhere romantically. Well, after not seeing him for over a year, I meet up with him and he proudly and gleefully, I might add, announces “and this is my wife!” I was completely blindsided (I recovered quickly though) said hello and shook her hand. Then Art felt compelled to have a few awkward words with me asking how I was—blah blah.

I am genuinely happy for him. He is a nice guy and it is great to see a nice guy finish first but, I just couldn’t help but feel sorry for myself. Afterall at this great age I did not expect to be single AND living at home. Yes, very very pathetic. Understandable in this economy and common here in Hawaii, but pathetic nonetheless.

Totally unrelated but, now that Art is married I bet Jesse has moved to California. It seems as if nothing is impossible except maybe me being happy without being in love.

i wish i could but i jsut dont understand how :(

This is hard. The beginning of a relationship is wonderful; the breathless excitement, the anticipation, the feeling of floating on air, the giddiness. How did it evolve from that to the fighting, pleading, and crying?

Sometimes I am okay. I feel like it was just another painful lesson that I had to learn because I obviously didn’t learn it from the last relationship. And, sometimes I just feel all alone. I know that eventually this soon shall pass but…. the sooner the better.

i am currently in a relationship and am so happy. i have had terrible experiences in the past and my man at the moment is the one ivealways dreamed about. the problem is that i crave love. i need to feel loved. he doesnt love me but i love him. the relationship can never last he is a muslim and i am not so he will return to his mother to get married soon. this kills me inside. how can i be happy when he leaves knowing that he is the man that ive always dreamed of but i cant have him? i dont know what to do!!!!!!!!

i am in love with my self

that’s the reason why i am always happy, i guess

Just to be sure that I was using the appropriate word I looked up the definition and it fits: “a place or state of oblivion to which persons or things are regarded as being relegated when cast aside, forgotten, past, or out of date”.

The fat lady hasn’t sung yet but, the train has already left. Well, James left Hawaii and with that action the relationship ended. He closed the chapter on Hawaii and moved on and I wish I could be as uncaring and thoughtless as him. I was even willing to visit him in FL to continue our relationship or at least to see where it would lead to but…I ended up cancelling my reservations.

And, it is hard to start dating again (I hate that word, what am I a teenager??) when my heart still loves James and hopes for “happily ever after”. I wish I could just forget about him and stop waiting for a phone call or an email that I know I will never get. I know I don’t want to get back on that rollercoaster ride again, but I keep thinking of the good times (even when there were so many more bad times) and then I get so sad. It is so depressing and pathetic to be holding on.

I always happy… and i think i dont need to be in love to be happy…

and now.. i am In Love with a Man…

and this Happiness… is undescribeable happy feeling..

smilling for no reason…

PS. Is it mean i have done with this goal already?

I started doing things I’ve always wanted to do. Once I started doing these things and checking them off my list, I realized that now I’m the person I’ve always wanted to become.