This is where I am at now at the age of 31, soon to be 32 in three months. My life story is built upon lack of confidence. What I do on a daily basis, how I think, my career choices, my financial choices, my relationships are all built on a lack of self confidence. I am now at the point where I am miserable and borderline depressive. I am always pulling out the measuring stick to what I should have, could have done with my life, only to realize that those other people have at least some amount of confidence. I have absoultely zero. It makes me miserable and the people around me.
People who have done this
More "How I Did It" stories
rebeccarae is thinking...like always
How I did it: Well for me being confident used to be an issue until I hit 10th grade which was when I actually gained experience with people. Until then I had never really been confident in anything I did or myself at all and now people tell me I'm coinceeded all the time. In response I just tell them that if they were as confident as me then they wouldn't see me as me being cocky. All it really takes is a change in mind set.&nbs… Read how I did it…
How I did it: So "being confident" is some weird hybrid between just faking it and actually feeling it deep within. Do I always feel confident? No, I'm often ridiculously nervous. But acting nervous gets me nowhere. So I act confident, I convince myself that I have the potential to succeed, and by "tricking" myself into thinking that I can do it, I thus enable myself to actually do it.You can't just wallow in feeling un-confident. You gotta say hey, ya… Read how I did it…
How I did it: Four months ago I decided that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was overweight and unhealthy. I decided to join weight watchers and feel wonderful. Read how I did it…
People doing this are also doing these things:
Entries
LOAS1130 is sending love to all who need it.
I have some self image issues so I tend to shy away from people, but I only get this one life and I don’t want to spend it hiding!
Monica Lewis is wondering if she can actualy do all this stuff.
im an unrequited lover…that really lowers my confidence to nothing. im tired of thinkin so low of myself. i need to be more confident in everything i do.
My First Step:
say to myself evryday- “its doesnt matter if he loves me or not. i dont need him to be happy.”
it might work
Apfelsaft living with no regrets- makin mistakes, doin stupid stuff, & lovin it!
I know I’m a lot more confident than I was in my younger days. Some days I feel confident, others shy.
I think the real barrier to confidence is lack of self-acceptance. I’ve long hated my voice because I am soft spoken. Over time I’ve put myself in a shell because I don’t want to hear my own voice, and don’t want to have to repeat myself.
Someone very wise once said, if you can’t change it, accept it. So that is where I am now – learning to accept my least favorite aspect.
need to believe in myself! I need to stop thinking I’m something I’m the complete opposite of in reality! I am NOT a horrible person! I am a WONDERFUL person! :)
1. Get and stay out of your comfort zone.
I believe that not much happens of any significance when we’re in our comfort zone. I hear people say, “But I’m concerned about security.” My response to that is simple: “Security is for cadavers.”
2. Never give up.
Almost nothing works the first time it’s attempted. Just because what you’re doing does not seem to be working, doesn’t mean it won’t work. It just means that it might not work the way you’re doing it. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn’t have an opportunity.
3. When you’re ready to quit, you’re closer than you think.
There’s an old Chinese saying that I just love, and I believe it is so true. It goes like this: “The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed.”
4. With regard to whatever worries you, not only accept the worst thing that could happen, but make it a point to quantify what the worst thing could be.
Very seldom will the worst consequence be anywhere near as bad as a cloud of “undefined consequences.” My father would tell me early on, when I was struggling and losing my shirt trying to get Parsons Technology going, “Well, Robert, if it doesn’t work, they can’t eat you.”
5. Focus on what you want to have happen.
Remember that old saying, “As you think, so shall you be.”
6. Take things a day at a time.
No matter how difficult your situation is, you can get through it if you don’t look too far into the future, and focus on the present moment. You can get through anything one day at a time.
7. Always be moving forward.
Never stop investing. Never stop improving. Never stop doing something new. The moment you stop improving your organization, it starts to die. Make it your goal to be better each and every day, in some small way. Remember the Japanese concept of Kaizen. Small daily improvements eventually result in huge advantages.
8. Be quick to decide.
Remember what General George S. Patton said: “A good plan violently executed today is far and away better than a perfect plan tomorrow.”
9. Measure everything of significance.
I swear this is true. Anything that is measured and watched, improves.
10. Anything that is not managed will deteriorate.
If you want to uncover problems you don’t know about, take a few moments and look closely at the areas you haven’t examined for a while. I guarantee you problems will be there.
11. Pay attention to your competitors, but pay more attention to what you’re doing.
When you look at your competitors, remember that everything looks perfect at a distance. Even the planet Earth, if you get far enough into space, looks like a peaceful place.
12. Never let anybody push you around.
In our society, with our laws and even playing field, you have just as much right to what you’re doing as anyone else, provided that what you’re doing is legal.
13. Never expect life to be fair.
Life isn’t fair. You make your own breaks. You’ll be doing good if the only meaning fair has to you, is something that you pay when you get on a bus (i.e., fare).
14. Solve your own problems.
You’ll find that by coming up with your own solutions, you’ll develop a competitive edge. Masura Ibuka, the co-founder of SONY, said it best: “You never succeed in technology, business, or anything by following the others.” There’s also an old Asian saying that I remind myself of frequently. It goes like this: “A wise man keeps his own counsel.”
15. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
Lighten up. Often, at least half of what we accomplish is due to luck. None of us are in control as much as we like to think we are.
16. There’s always a reason to smile.
Find it. After all, you’re really lucky just to be alive. Life is short. More and more, I agree with my little brother. He always reminds me: “We’re not here for a long time, we’re here for a good time!”
Ivymere is inspired.
Someone talked to me about my issues about feeling confident and feeling frustrated and how my self-esteem works. Drawing from what she’s heard so far, she really brought up a point that I think makes sense.
It’s about how I’ve been treated like I’m stupid and made to believe that for so long in my life…and then when those rare people show up in my life to tell me I have potential, it strikes a chord in me. I was amazed. It’s like…these strangers always see this potential in me, but no one close to me does. It’s weird and it’s so deflating to my confidence. It makes me feel so crappy about myself, you know?
And then she kind of said that I might be frustrated because there are those who see the potential in me and then I can sense myself having potential and interests and passions…and the fact that I can’t seem to excel in them frustrates me. Or that I lose interest…
So we’re going to explore that further and discuss how we can kind of get me to break out of this block I have.
I guess theres been progress.
:)
i talk to more people more
i smile and say hi
i dont want to die everytime i look in the mirror
but i need to :
respect myself more, then others will respect me
never ever be afraid when i want to say something, i’ll just say it anyway nd not care out looking stupid
cisco_kid is the hero of her own story.
I feel as if my eyes have been suddenly opened to how attractive I am. I mean, I always knew I wasn’t ugly, but I never gave myself enough credit. It’s strange, because I feel kind of bewildered, but also totally unsurprised.
I guess I was aware of my potential all along, but I just had to turn the volume down on that little negative voice in the back of my head.
Things that help are surrounding myself with people who care about me and see me as beautiful, and by taking care of myself, inside and out.
I’m not taking this goal down, however, because I still feel like I need to gain a ton of social confidence. I’m still incredibly shy and become tongue-tied around people I don’t know very well.
It’s nice to know I’m on my way though! :D
Eloquent_Dreamer Listening to uplifting music
How does one get rid of it? How can I take the first step to being confident???
→ See all 153 entries
Ask for advice: Get help from people who've accomplished this goal
|
Warszawa
|
ZooZ asks,
“What do i have to do to become more confident?”
— 2 years ago |
|


