get over my ex

so its approaching a month, its been quick yet some days seem so unbelievably slow.
ive spoke to him a few times on IM, and tbh i dont know i felt SOMETHING when talking but it wasnt love, it was an horrible knotty feeling in my stomach, i said i didnt love him, he said the same.
i wondered if what i said was true tho, i dont think i do, but then why does he come to m thoughts at the worst moments.!

ive moved on well, kissed a few guys but i relised im not that Girl, i dont like kissing randomers because they dont really know you, and kissing is uber important to me, damn as im writing this im thinking of kissing him, which i havnt done yet, spose i miss his kisses.

but ive grown this past month, learning to drive being the foundation of this, ive done well at college and although its not perminant im getting flickers of the old me sometimes and it rules!

having got over a long term relationship before i know i can do it and i actually think im there which is surpisingly fast, dunno what it would be like seeing him tho i guess thats the test, seeing him and feeling nothing.hmmmm

It will be 2 yrs. in Jan. since our 3 yr. relationship ended. I tell myself I’m over her, but I’m not. The pain of that day still lingers, I can’t escape it. I wake and think of you. I dream about her mini dachshund all the time. I hate it! I’ve isolated myself from dating, too scared to open my heart again. Is the pain of loss worth opening my heart to love? I don’t know? You gave me the greatest memories of my life. You and our mini dachshund were my world. I hold onto those memories, but they bring only pain. She has moved on, she is in love. I’m stuck in the past with nothing but her ghost. I don’t know how to get over her? Maybe I never will, but I can’t keep living like this, it hurts too much. You will never see this…i miss chloe and think about her everyday. Losing her hurt me more than you will ever know.

After almost four years of dating, its’ done. The lies, the drunken nights and the cheating are over. Do I feel better about it? No, not really, not yet.

He was an alcoholic that I felt responsible for. I felt responsible for his children. I loved him.
He cheated on me three, four who knows how many times. I took him back each time. Its’ pathetic. I need to want better for myself. Reading this and listening to my thoughts I hate the woman I have become. I have become HER; the woman that we all talk about, the one we feel sorry for the one we continue to ask “what is wrong with her?”
I need to move on. This time, theres’ no choice- he dumped me. After all the promises of together forever, the promises of I will never cheat on you- he lied. I was too stupid to see it, the red flags were everywhere. However; I chose to stay because it was comfortable, because I loved him. I will move on, I will heal and I will be stronger because of it.

he told a friend of mine in an email: “i am over her. completely.”
ouch. it just sucks that i am that easily replaceable by a girl hes only known for a month and half when we’ve been best friends for four years. now, he doesnt even want the friendship from me.

he is so frustrating, but knowing that he is totally and definitively over me helps a bit in the process. i just wish i could find someone new as soon as possible. it would just make me feel better.

My friend & I had a discussion about my relationship w/ my ex. He said something that’s stuck in my head now. He offered only two options: 1. either my ex didn’t love me enough to build a future with me regardless of difficulties; 2. he found someone else & used an excuse whatever he told me in his letter.
I’m now thinking whether there’s a third option. The second claim doesn’t make sense b/c I know my ex too well. The first one does. The third option, which says that no matter how much he loved me, he couldn’t waste any more time on a relationship that didn’t work the way he wanted to. It makes the most sense to me.
But aside from that, I need to start thinking about & realizing the fact that if a person leaves, he doesn’t need another anymore. That’s as simple as it is. Or if he does need her, then not as much as he needs something else, be it freedom, peace of mind, another person, job, whatever.
I need to digest it more & adopt this idea. I think it might make me feel better, help me to get over him faster.
Does the knowing of you not loving me enough reduce my love for you? No. I still love you & think of you more often than at the beginning. I’m learning to live on with that scar. I can see that it’s possible.

I can go for stretches of time without giving him serious consideration. Even when I do come across a reminder, it takes less and less time to snap out of my reminiscing. I can enjoy some of the music he introduced me to now. There are a few I can’t listen to at all yet though, the ones I would sit around and listen to practically in tears while he was gone over the summer in Europe. I loved him so much then. That was before he did a 180 on me.

I read a book today about all the things women do to themselves to look and feel good about themselves, for men or disapproving mothers or whoever. I always thought I would treat myself better than that and not let a man, no “boy” seems more appropriate for Adam, make me feel the need to be different, better somehow. At times I felt 100% comfortable being intimate with him, totally comfortable in my own skin and happy to feel so close with someone. On the other hand, I spent so much time and money on making my body “better” for him. He laughed at me for reading Cosmo, told me my $60 dollar a pop Brazilian waxes were unnecessary, yet still criticized and disrespected my body. He takes pride in the fact that he is a supposed “flaming liberal” yet still acts like a complete womanizer. He called me fat. He told me I was a bitch. He told me I was stupid.

At times I hate him, hate myself for letting him patronize me, miss him, then consequently hate myself for missing him, and blah blah blah. But lately, all those conflicting emotions have been overshadowed by the part of me that actually loves myself. When I start debating all of these emotions and the depression tries to creep back in, I start defending myself—to myself. I say,”It’s OK that you liked him, really. You were in a different emotional state than you are now. Months and months ago you WANTED him, and he, on some emotional level you could never gain access to, wanted you too. You rode it out until the very end—holding on a little too tightly—but, by God, you were a good girlfriend to him. It’s over now, and so be it. You are a beautiful creature of emotion able to enjoy the presence of others. It’s not your fault his personality is that of dry toast and cardboard, and it’s unfortunate that he is a dick. He didn’t deserve you, and only if he gets ridiculously lucky (or dates someone ridiculously stupid)will he ever be treated that well by a woman again.”

That voice/feeling/whatever it is inside me that lets me know I’m OK as I am has been dormant for far too long. I’d say I’m somewhere in between self-esteem rehab and self-confidence boot camp at the moment. I’m stronger than I have been in a while, maybe EVER. I’m human though and sometimes my emotions still get me. I’m just happy my heart is still intact and not stone cold after all this BS.

It says it takes an average of one year to complete, but for me it was been 15 months. I am ready for this to be done – and i don’t know why it isn’t. I don’t talk to him anymore, i occasionally run into him about once a month. I just can’t seem to get over him.

I have been making a lot of progress lately, and I’m so grateful. I’m starting to feel more confident and, dare I say, flirty around other guys. I don’t want, nor can I handle another relationship at the moment, but the distraction is nice. I am still working on my self-esteem and identifying what made my past relationships unhealthy in the first place. I want to take some time off from serious relationships until I can learn to take care of myself a little better. Neglecting myself is what triggered this downward spiral in the first place. I’m just happy I can see myself moving on.

he dumped me 2+ months ago…we went out for a year…we needed to break up because i was pissed off at him all the time but i still think he’s a jackass! whenever i think about him i get really angry! i need to get over it..i don’t think that this much anger is healthy :)

Time passes by, new experiences add up, pictures change, thoughts change, opinions change…
Anything else have changed? Nope. Time passes by, my love doesn’t. It’s there, sitting quietly, it found a place where no one can reach it, even I can’t reach it to tear it out of there & leave it behind. I guess I just have to deal with that fact & be happy that my heart loves a person, even though that person is out of my life.
I found a new job, I’m meeting new people, I’m having fun. I’m downloading new music that builds on my new life. I’m taking advantage of my freedom. I feel joy.
But I still miss you & think of you every day, even though it’s been over 3 months.