Believe that I'm just as good as everyone else

I have low self esteem, this was caused by going to my high school. Many people hate me and would tell me the things I wore made me look like a slut or the things I wore were ugly and I was never told I was pretty/cute/whatever and I watched all the girls whore themselves out and get guys and if I were to do that I’d just be called a slut. I don’t want to have to whore myself out. And I want to believe that I’m pretty. Also, I want to believe that I am needed. I am adopted. There was someone who was a relative who wouldn’t adopt me because I am female. Instead he has the people most important to me and I was sent away basically. I want to believe that I’m wanted. I want to believe that I’m not useless. I want to believe that I’m just as good as everyone else.

Well, I’m 28 and only ever been in one relationship. I was sick as a teenager and have only just been able to get my health back after 14 years filled with pain and suffering. I lost the opportunity to develop maturity throughout my teen years as my friends all did. Throughout that time also, I’ve come to believe that I’m just no good, and that no girl I am attracted to will ever be attracted to or have any feelings for me. I try to lighten up and be more “loose” but it just drives them away. I then go back to being myself and the girls like me as a “sweet guy”, but just on the level of friends.

I feel so desperate about this situation that I have come to rely on pornography heavily as a substitute for real human contact, and I find it hard to be intimate with other people. I also get very jealous about other guys, when I see them with a girl, I can’t see a way out. I have two sisters, and yet I can’t relate to women in general? What the hell is that?

Am I screwed up completely????

Help :(.

I feel like I’ve done this. :)
Good luck everyone!

one thing i have to work on is not thinking im ‘weirder’ than everyone else.

i dont think this will be hard for me to compelete.
im more than half way there. =)

how do you go about this? :/

self confidence.
self appreciation.
self respect.
loving yourself no matter what.

this seems like a pretty difficult one, but something i REALLY need to work on. you can’t be truly happy unless you love yourself and realize you are an amazing person.

here is one thing i have learned; the girls who give you dirty bitchy looks or talk shit about you for absolutely no apparent reason; well all it means is that they are jealous of you. where as we usually take it as the opposite.
ex- “she said my hair looks horrible” [we tend to think- “oh god she’s right”!]
when in reality she is too insecure to compliment you nicely so she has to make you feel bad to make herself better.

Sometimes i find myself feeling inferior to other people for various reasons. I dont know why, because i know I’m not. I think it has come from relationships. Blah.

Totally agree with SusieQ333. I managed this with a combination of more sleep and getting out and about more. Dark flats can be a problem but just forcing urself out of the house and to see friends at least once a day will be the first step to everything falling into place.

Believe you are equal because you are. It’s as simple as that. Stop comparing yourself and competing with others and look at yourself and what you have done in the context of your life and your circumstances. There are always going to be people who are better at something or worse at something, BUT as far as BEING, you are equal. Everyone has problems they deal with, internal emotional shit and external circumstances that require others to be compassionate or understanding of, but by no means is anyone obligated to be anything more than respectful to each other.

You choose how you walk in the world….

All my life I was different because I had a scar on my face and it affected my ability to speak and smile. I believed that I was just misunderstood by my appearance which made me look I was pissed off all the time. I told people 10 times a day “I’m fine” because people were always “what’s wrong”? So, one day a teacher told me that I had to talk more and be more outgoing even when I felt like hiding so people would understand that what I looked like on the outside was not how I felt on the inside.
After awhile I started smiling more now that I felt that I was being understood and I saw when I looked in the mirror, that look wasn’t there anymore. I was scowling because I was embarassed of how I looked. It wasn’t the world that had the problem, IT WAS ME and I projected my own insecurity onto everyone else. I still had jerks make fun of me or said mean things, but I knew it was because they had insecurities of their own and pointing out my flaws took their attention away from their own problems and insecurities. I learned to forgive.

For what it is worth, you just have to believe it to make it true. You are the most important person in your life, even more important than your kids and your husband/wife, if you have those people in your life. You have to take care of your needs first, because if you can’t love and care for your own self, you won’t do much good for anyone else. That doesn’t mean being selfish or depriving your relationships/children. It just means you have needs that must be met in order to function as a healthy person.

Your kids are a close second if you have them and you should be willing to make sacrifices for them, but your health and wellbeing are paramount, even if you just have to believe it’s for their sake. Whatever you decide, make it happen. Do whatever you think is going to help you become healthy inside and out.

Someone said that you have to believe you are Better than everyone else and that’s another tactic to avoid looking at your problems. Going from Low Self Esteem to Arrogant Prick isn’t going to change the reality of the situation that you are unhappy.

One of the best things i’ve ever done for myself. Things are starting to fall into place.