Keep a journal

I have done pretty well on keeping up with my handwritten journal since establishing this goal, and started a(nother) blog 3 days ago…which I have successfully, if boringly, written in each day since. I am excited to have made this much progress, but I won’t mark this goal off for at least another month because I want to be sure I keep at it.

http://www.sajabla.blogspot.com

My goodness, what a writing extravaganza! I am extremely pleased and excited to report that I have finally started writing my journal, and as anticipated, once I started, I couldn’t stop. I am doing it the good old fashioned way, using my favourite pen, and an A4 note book. I’m not naturally artistic. However, I found myself adding little sketches, which made me laugh. Hadn’t realised that I’d been suppressing so much, perhaps this will compel me to start writing poetry again – hopefully it will be less angst ridden now that my teens are long gone! My only regret is not starting my journal sooner because I did lots of really cool, and exciting things last week ha ha! I would like to thank ldrydenb and queazel for cheering me on.

I find software journaling works pretty well, I’ve been doing this daily and look forward to it. I’m rolling it into my morning routine, to help me wake up and start the day off nicely.

threatening and bullying
ignoring
dont want to continue living with this person, I cannt even talk to him.
he keeps shouting at me and abusign me. for asking him why he is gettting irrtated ( which is all the time anyway)
I never loved him. i know I will never love him. I am just scared to get on on my own.
there is no connection between us, its nice to have someone sharig the boring burden of life, like paying bills and buying veggies.
and things are just so so.
He is so into himself, he is very careful about what he will or willnot share. there is no bond or attachment between me and him.
hmmmm, for that matter I also dont share much with him, thats cause when I want to share he snubs me. he makes it very clear that he is not listening by watching TV or reading.
oh, I dont want to be in this marriage! Then why am I in it. I am scared of breaking it. being a divorce .
also dont want to make people who are waiting to see me in bad shape happy.
I havent gotten along with my boss or my friends so I am afrraid the mistake may be with me.
are these reasons good enough? I am quite stable after staying alone. but mr husband gets on my nerves. he is not a very nice person.

I’ve been having difficulty keeping my journal daily, so I’ve decided to keep two! Er…

I realised that I was struggling to write about professional matters in confidence, so ending up not writing anything. Now I have a reflective diary which gets written up at the end of every work day and a personal log (!) which gets an entry every night.

More writing, but less work!

cow kakka :D that’s the replacement for bullshit.

Ticked off the “improve my handwriting” goal, but it’s settling in nicely now that I’m journaling more. I’ll take another look at it in a couple of months to see what needs tweaking (as well as all the head messedupness that need tweaking).

But why force it? I do write if something really crosses my mind and I’ve started carrying a journal more for those times when I feel inspired and it’s not convenient.

Actually I’ve be doing this since I was 8! Then I started and stopped a milion times!! Now I have a blog and a journal. It’s nice to read old entries and see how things changed!

rat- steve doing well now. he;s not in a very good way, he cant eat any hard food. not even biscuits, have to wet them for him to eat :(. but his wounds are better and hair lookin more shiny. :) sweet lil fellow he is.

me – hmmmm me not ready to go back to office. with the down turn comin in, I cant risk quitting my job. I dont have any other ideas. basicaly confused and tortured by thoughts of office. I am this kind who has to follow her heart, otherwise I am so miserable. even if the miserableness is not evident at first, sooner than later it shows. and how it shows!! hmmmm…
god show me the way!!!!
few options I have thought of
1) work with my previous boss, I was happy with him. This should not be very hard…
2) ask for working from home atleast 2days a week. This may be difficult for now.
3) keep low working hours citing my health reasons.

still my heart is not in it, I am not gonna do well even with my previous boss. I have worked so hard in this job and all I got was shit( quite a lot of it my fault). I dono how to do well at work, deal with people etc. Grrrr.

I have also gotten into some quirky habbits of mailin people and troubling them, when I feel frustrated. they are people who did bad to me and I couldnt really get back, but still it spoils my own peace. I should stop it. I get into this only when I am troubled, and thanks to job issue now I am troubled.
how I love stayin at home away from all people with my plants and pets! with my maid takin care of all domesticity… sigh!!! life cant go on like this can it? :-)

I actaully want to get into some college and study ancient Indian history or mystique sciences. not with an intention of gettin a job, but just for knowledges sake. why has our society deteriorated so much that such things are not encouraged? Or do i have a way and I am not seeing it?
I do want to live my life in spritual and knowledge persuits. and knowledge doesnot include embedded systems :D god help me find a way!! god help me.