be a better wife

I keep forgetting how great my husband really is. He has given up so much for me. His closest family lives 3 hours away, but he stayed here with me. He works hard to make sure that the bills get paid, he does just about anything that I request. Now keep in mind that I am not a stay at home wife, I have worked since before we got together. He did not have a job when we first got together. I have been the primary supporter most of our relationship, but he has come along way. He works hard and has continued to move up in the world. Right now I work 40 hours a week and go to school full time. I get so tired, stressed, and physically worn out, that I sometimes get a LITTLE cranky. Most of the time when I am “cranky” I take it out on him. I forget that he has been there through everything, problems with parents, grandparent’s funerals, work problems, school issues, best friend fights, everything. He never got scared and ran away. There was a time when I thought he would, and he thought that he was going to as well. A lot of time I find myself wondering why he stayed. I know that I am not a very good wife and I know that he deserves better but he just keeps hanging around. I guess he loves me or something. (wink). I just need to show him that I love him more than anything! He is the most important thing in my life and I just do not know if he knows it yet. I love him so much and he treats me like a princess. I need to treat him like the amazing person that he is, and remember that I put myself in the school/work situation that I am in. He has backed in whatever I have done and now I need to do the same! I just don’t think that I could take it if he left! So I need to straighten up and concentrate on making him happy!

I like to cook,I clean and i take care of our puppy.
I have a full time job, I do everything I thought I was supposed to do in order to make my husband happy.
yet, at times, I feel like all i do is make him unhappy???
He sometimes cooks, he sometimes cleans, he plays with the puppy, and he is in the military.

What am i missing?

we have a great personal life, and lets face it all men need to have one.

we go out and do things on occasion…

we talk, yet it always seems im doing all the talking.

I dont get it, how can you be a better wife when , well, your not quite sure what your doing wrong?

As we ladies strive to become “better wives”, we need to bear in mind the fact that becoming better husbands, is the responsibility of our men (collectively speaking- one man per wife, please!) It is entirely possible as women, to take on the whole burden of designing a successful relationship, when the burden belongs to BOTH parties… According to the Word of God- the TRUE “designer” of marriage, a husband is commanded to “love his wife as Christ loves the church”; giving his LIFE for her!

So yes, let’s better ourselves… But if we fall short, which is LIKELY, let’s not sink into despair. If there is no grace, support, or understanding; A.K.A. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE… then shame on HIM (DH), because God knows we try!

Now, back to our regularly scheduled message board on: becoming “better wives”. ;0)

I made hubby a cake last night. He picked me up a newspaper and coffee this morning….{smile}

I texted my husband and told him I am sorry and that I love him. It is a start to mending the hurt.

There are some changes I want to see in my husband- big changes. Since I have no ability to change him- for him, I’ll do my best to prepare the way. Understand, I consider myself intelligent enough, and I don’t support staying glued to a relationship out of low self-esteem… Quite frankly, I could land another husband if that’s the direction I chose to take! (Throat clear…) I’m just SICK of quick divorces, and want to give it my all to avoid one. Since it takes TWO, I simply volunteer to be the first one to figure out some strategies.

Four kids= one big household tornado!!!

• Kids will need to help with chores more- much, much more!

• 8:30 bedtime

• Kids will honor their father and mother… or else.

• Kids will go to church, and learn how much they’re loved, and how much they’re also responsible TO love, respect, and honor others…

Four kids can tire a mother out, but I need to remember:

• When our children are grown, I will need a marriage that has survived their growing…

• I will be diligent in running an organized (A.K.A. PEACEFUL) household.

• I will make a schedule of chores, with priveleges/consequences attached, for the children.

• I will make time for myself; (church, writing, an occassional nap!)

• I will be able to get a small job- once things are running smoother (kids’ chores are KEY!), to allow for girly maintenance (NO “letting myself go”, if at ALL possible! ;0)... plus extras that four kids entail. (Field hockey sounded great for my seventh-grader… A couple hundred dollars ago, that is…)

• Last on my list, but FIRST to my husband… (If I think I’m too tired to “spend time” with my husband, I can only imagine how tired I’d be withOUT him…)

Just went to midweek service, where honor was discussed in depth. a light has been switched on in my heart. There is a difference between giving honor to my husband and being a doormat, so I want to pursue the marriage- healing virtue of honor. It all becomes possible, as I decide to see what good is in him, rather than associating with his flaws… If there’s but one noble trait, then that’s what I’ll honor. He’s hard working; I’ll start there…

A year ago, I shared my problem with getting out from sleeping between my two little girls, who shared one big bed… Thought I was trying to get them to sleep, but sometimes… oftentimes, stayed there all night. (Bad for marriage!)...

A friend finally took it upon herself to march a needed matress and TWO bunky boards into our house; right into the girls’ bedroom, and asked for only minimal assistance, as she (very determinedly)completed the bunkbed!!! This was a blessing… a gift (FREE!)

After a season of THEN being stuck on the bottom bunk with our youngest daughter, and sneaking out when she fell asleep- but coming back when she’d discover it… I finally put my foot down (on the floor next to her bed…), walked out of the girls’ room, and changed life as they knew it, Amen!

Our youngest girl is now in Kindergarten, and sleeping like a big girl- and Mommy is finally spending time with her husband… like a big girl! (LOL)

I want to be a better wife

was Matt’s birthday. I got him the Stars Wars Monopoly game, since he’s a Star Wars freak. I also got him another season of South Park and took him to the AT&T store and got him the new iPhone. :-) I think it was a pretty good birthday, we went out to dinner with a friend of his and then all came back to the house and played his new game until 1 something this morning. Fun times were had by all. LOL