Construct my life around things that make me happy

Yes, enlightenment. And, it is possible.

It’s spiritual awareness….....and meditation is the path. Everything we need, is within.

is the way to do this.

being in love….............I guess if I could be in love again, everything else of importance would suddenly be of no importance at all…....it’s funny how I work to construct a life, when, in truth, it is all distraction….....One man, one right man, would make me forget everything…......it is true, love is what I’m looking for….I guess I tempted the fates when I, so sure of myself, told him, “You think I’ll fall in love with you? Don’t worry, I won’t.” ......But, I did…....

Being independent appears to make me happy…although, recently, I’ve seen that my happiness, is what I conjure in my mind…a bit scary…and frustrating…...to see that happiness is our imagination…elusive and everchanging…........

He is a barometer because I respect his opinion, although, in the end, there are many things on which we disagree.

Being independent.

Being in control of my life.

Doing only those things I believe are worthwhile.

Being true to myself in the sense of figuring out who I am, what I want to do, what I belive, what I feel, then, doing it and feel good knowing, “This is me and not only is it OK, but, it’s good, so, if you don’t agree, that’s your “problem”, not mine”.

.............lying next to them in the dark of the night and listening to their breath, opening my eyes in the morning and watching them sleep beside me in bed, looking deep and long into their eyes, feeding each other, althernativly, an entire meal bite by bite, jumping into bed to watch tv together with a big bowl of ice cream, lying on the couch for an entire sunday watching endless moviess that are really, really stupid, staying in bed till 4 pm on Sunday, explaining a serious idea, thought or feeling and being understood, feeling appreciated, singing stupid songs together at the top your lungs, catching their eye across the room and feeling a drop in the pit of your stomach, wrestling, slowly caressing every inch, nook and cranny of their body, leaning next to them and taking in their scent with a long, slow, luxurious breath, nibbling on them from the tippy tip of their toes to eye popping, tingling nerve endings on the top of their head, and being with someone who respects you, never criticizes or tries to make you something you aren’t, who accepts you for who you are, and who is wise beyond years, mature, funny, sexy, masculine, beautiful….